Every so often, a person comes along with the power to help change our way of thinking for the better. In 2010, University of Houston research professor Brené Brown gave a TED Talk that aimed to reframe the way we think about vulnerability, shame, and courage. The video launched her to fame and continues to be one of the most-viewed TED Talks of all time.
Since then, Brown has gone on to write several No. 1 New York Times bestselling books and host her own popular podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead. Like her initial TED Talk, her teachings are primarily focused on embracing vulnerability. This, she believes, is the pathway to forging authentic connections and living a present life.
Brown also stresses the importance of cultivating self-compassion; acknowledging our imperfections without judgment fosters a kinder relationship with ourselves and, in turn, with others. Her teachings encourage us to step out of our comfort zones, take risks, and ultimately learn from our failures — to, in her words, “dare greatly.”
This selection of quotes encompasses the core tenets of Brown’s work. Together, they make up a small compendium of life advice, reminding us of the strength and freedom there is to be found in vulnerability and self-love.
Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.
True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are. True belonging requires us to be who we are.
Stop scouring people's faces for evidence that you're not enough. You will always find it because you've made that your goal … Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.
Just as healing physical pain requires describing it, talking about it, and sometimes getting professional help, we need to do the same thing with emotional pain.
We can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly.
Shame hates to have words wrapped around it. If we talk about it, it loses its grip on us.
We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.
Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.
The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.
You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.
I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness — it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.
The problem is that when we don’t care at all what people think and we’re immune to hurt, we’re also ineffective at connecting. Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.
Hurt is hurt, and every time we honor our own struggle and the struggles of others by responding with empathy and compassion, the healing that results affects all of us.
When we work from a place … that says, “I'm enough,” then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.
The most effective way to cultivate joy in our lives is to practice gratitude. The key word here is “practice” … So often we think that joy makes us grateful, when in reality it’s gratitude that brings joy.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them — we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.
Featured image credit: TCD/Prod.DB/ Alamy Stock Photo
